Dear Diary & Videos

  • Natalie Bonkowski

Worrying about the To-Do-List & My Journey

Updated: Jul 27

This is probably something I blog about too much…but my biggest struggle in life besides losing weight is time. I always run out of time. I always want more time. I have so much I want to accomplish, but I need more time.


Yesterday was one of those days. How can I keep doing everything I do? I hear the quotes, “Just say no." and "You are doing too much.” My grandma used to tell me that. Or, “Those that multi-task, aren’t doing anything well.” Great, that means I’m doing a crappy job at a lot of things. Lol. Or “We all have the same amount of time, it’s how we use it.” Don’t get me started on that one. I’ll have a spreadsheet put together in a matter of minutes analyzing every second of my day.


Last night I began thinking of everything I MUST do this week. Then everything I NEED to do. And I didn’t get to things I WANT to do. I was feeling overwhelmed. I noticed my old ways (habits) of worrying and obsessing setting in. I noticed my level of frustration with the kids elevate.



Me & My To-Do-List

I crawled into bed and analyzed (cause that’s what I do) my mood. It’s interesting to note how quickly worry can change so many things. It changed my attitude with my kids and husband, it changed the thoughts for the rest of the evening, it changed the food I put in my mouth. (Had a handful of chips that I probably wouldn’t have had if my mood was right.)


Worrying about anything, changes so many things! My family didn’t deserve my attitude. Without worry, I would have had much more patience with the kids at bedtime. Without worry, life is so much better!


As I am about to go to sleep, I realize how far I have come in my faith lately. These episodes of worry & bad attitude used to be an every day mood for me. I was such a perfectionist and when things didn’t go exactly right, I worried and got mad. My mood changed. My family didn’t get the best version of me. That night, I drifted off to sleep praying for peace and thankfulness to the man upstairs for always taking care of me. I asked for forgiveness for trying to take on these tasks & to-do lists on my own without His help.


Then, the next morning I woke up to a weekly email I receive from Stacey Pardoe. This was in my inbox:


“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

“God’s power is perfected in my weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“I am with you, even until the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20


And there were more. I was reminded of all the good stuff I’ve been reading lately. I was reminded the Bible’s teachings of giving Him all our thoughts and worries. I was reminded to stop trying to do ANYTHING on my own. EVERYTHING should be done with His help.

Being constantly reminded of His power, love, forgiveness, and sacrifice for us, makes life so much easier.


I know my site and blog are supposed to be all about health and wellness. But this is the answer to my health and wellness. Every day I am growing more in peace and happiness. The inside has to transform first, and the outside will follow.


On all those weight loss journeys before this one, I tried to do it on my own. I stuck to a plan and did the work for all the wrong reasons. Wrong reasons didn’t result in lasting change.


After this little reminder, my worry grew small, and my day became much brighter. This is my life. LOL. I don’t spend days calculating calories and carbs anymore. I spend my days trusting that His plan is the best plan and He is showing me more and more of His plan each day.


I’d love to hear…how does worry affect you?

#balanceandbabysteps #myjourney #healthcoach

About Me

After 20 years of dieting, frustration, self-confidence and body image issues, I found myself as a contestant in a transformation contest. I stepped on stage in a bikini and dark tan and won 5th place. Walked off stage, started eating, and gained 50 pounds in a year. I felt so defeated, lost, miserable, and out of control.  

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Matthew 17:20

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

A Health Coach or Life Coach is a tool to help you realize your goals, support you, and help you create habit change. We are not doctors or nutritionists. We cannot provide professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information you receive from me is based on my personal experiences, studies of others, and training received from health coach and life coach school. Always consult with your doctor before making changes to your health and wellness plan.

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