You know how gymnasts are judged at the end of their performance? The judge rates them with a number. That number follows them until their next gymnastic meet where once again they are judged based on their performance. (Olivia and I have been watching gymnast movies lately.)
That is exactly how I feel every time I weigh myself on a scale.
Moments before stepping on the scale I am a little excited. It’s a feeling of anticipation that maybe that number is lower. The scale should be harmless, right?
But as soon as I see the number light up, I feel this “weight” of disappointment. Even when the number drops, it never drops enough.
I am letting the scale judge me. It has given me a score and I hold that score in my heart and in my head until the next time I step on the scale.
There’s obviously several problems with this. First, I am holding onto this number and letting it define me. I am letting the scale tell me that I am not good enough.
Second, this number doesn’t represent all the new little things and habits I am working on forming.
That number doesn’t reflect the fact that I laced up my shoes four times this week to move by body.
That number doesn’t reflect the fact that I put down my fork this week when I was full, instead of continuing to overeat.
That number doesn’t reflect all the good news I read this week to fill my mind, instead of focusing on negative news.
That number doesn’t reflect the happiness, peace, and freedom I finally feel instead of the “obsessive diet mentality” I had before.
That number doesn’t reflect my new heart and the places I am going.
As an accountant, I love numbers and analyzing data. It’s hard to walk away from the scale. But, I am tired of being judged.
Here’s my pledge. I will not weigh myself until Thanksgiving morning. Maybe I won’t weigh myself then either. I don’t know. That number should not be significant to me. I need to let that go.
Why do we even need to know that number? I guess our doctor needs it when prescribing medications. We can’t escape the scale at the doctors office. But is there any other reason why we need to know this number?
What we do need to know is how God wants us to eat and move our bodies to be healthy.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for your blessings. You see each of our hearts and know what is best for us. I pray that you show us how you want us to move our bodies to increase our strength and endurance. Show us how you want each one of us to eat. What foods and what amounts should we put in our body? Lord, show us when to use the scale and when not to use the scale. We want health and wellness, Lord. We want strength and stability in our bodies to do the work you have called us to do. Thank you Lord for always being there for us. We love you. Amen.
Let’s see what God puts in our hearts. For now, I’ll stay off the scale.